{Pleasure & Productivity}

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Here's a sensual secret for you: pleasure increases productivity.

What? Why? How?

In this dimension, this physical plane, at this specific time here on earth, there's one thing that is VERY human: money. It doesn't exist relevantly anywhere else. You can't take it with you when you die, what good is it there?

As specifically tied to this realm, it's thus tied to physical human chakras: the root and sacral. These seats of our physical body are related to our groundedness, the foundation to feel steady and ready, as well as our human expression of emotion through creativity and human intimacy.

So how can you fuel or boost your ability to create and connect, to feel entirely worthy of abundance?

Cultivate and nourish your connection to these pleasure centers. You'll become wholly embodied. Your focus becomes present, open, and delightfully ready to receive what will bring you pleasure elsewhere.

As I was discussing this morning, visualize your grandest desires about money: goals, "the why", and the feelings you wish to have while you experience pleasure.

Take time to feel yourself, literally, and the pleasure of success.

Cement it into this density as you moan in delight.

There's magnetism when your root and sacral chakras spin, alive.
It makes you entirely a force of alignment, assured that what you want "turns you on" not just sexually, but also in your sense of taking action afterward to make those dreams and feelings reality.

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{let's talk about anxiety and anxiousness}

Lepidolite is great for anxiety because of it’s naturally high lithium content.

Lepidolite is great for anxiety because of it’s naturally high lithium content.


My approach to emotions is actually quite logical even if that seems illogical because they're "sensitive." I believe emotions are useful in providing information that must be considered because it's being felt, so bringing some logical mindfulness to it can help you learn the scale of your own emotions. Here's an example of how I approach emotions with clients.

Many of you have been feeling this wave of anxiety over the past month, for a variety of reasons. I believe that it's individualized as to how YOU experience anxiety, but I also observe that there's an air of anxiety effecting many of us collectively.

Have you seen the recent headlines about professional burnout? We can't continue without taking better self-care -- it's the ultimate preventative wellness you can take. I'm familiar with anxiety from mild flutters and nervousness to full-on panic attacks. It's a spectrum-- and anxiety can be contagious if it's not cared for.

Every emotion has a breadth of information in what it is communicating. For Worry and Anxiety there's an emphasis on focus and completion.

There are gifts in anxiety (adopted by Karla McLaren in Art of Empathy):

Foresight. Focus. Conscience. Procrastination warning! Task completion.

Anxiety can be experienced in a few different states:

Soft state: helps you become more aware and where your focus is needed.

Mood state: more inconsistent -- it can feel like a time crunch or you may experience hyper focus and energy. You are more activated and because of the strength of this mood you can feel snappy. Mood states are where your emotions are perceived by you and others.

Intense state: this is when anxiety gets stuck in a feedback loop, externally or internally. This is where you anxiety is supercharged where you feel dizzy or overwhelmed by what exactly needs your attention. Want to get off the ride? Want to get back to clarity?

In the mood and intense state, anxiety should be addressed. Anxiety is here to help you organize and plan, so that you can complete your tasks. Yes it is related to fear, often fear of the future, but they're here to orient you to the possibility of upcoming change.

What can you do? Anxiety needs action and acknowledgment. Trying to ignore or dismiss it will only allow it to fester.

Empathetically turning towards anxiety *works* --you can't fix a problem without knowing what the problem is. So let's face it, and give it some conscious questions:

What triggered this feeling?
What really/actually needs to get done?


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Take a few minutes to calm yourself or get yourself in a calm state, and consciously probe and question this emotion from a logical perspective. The goal with anxiety is to identify what actions to take.

Is this anxiety mine or someone else's?
What upcoming tasks need my attention?

What organization would feel so much better? (this can be physical manifestation: closets, your kitchen, your car...)
What is within my control?
What action can I take to help alleviate this feeling and take power back?
No matter how "small" the action.

If you're feeling like identifying anxiety or experiencing anxiety is T O O M U C H, reach out. With big emotions, requesting support from those around you can be instrumental for you moving through it, and it builds trust with who you ask.

Any action towards acknowledging what your anxiety is telling you brings you back to balance. Address anxiety on whatever level it's manifesting.

Physical: support the physical symptoms

Emotional: allow yourself time to let it all out.

Mental: prioritize the *needs* and the not so pressing.

Spiritual: get on your meditation pillow and ask the Universe what's missing

I know this is a long post, and anxiety is prickly, but even cactus blooms. I appreciate you taking care and time to read the whole thing. Tell me: how are you feeling? How can I support you?

If you've read this far because you're feeling anxiety or anxiousness, would you like a card drawn to help give you a new perspective?


What to rock: Lepidolite, Black Tourmaline, Kunzite, Aragonite, Blue Chalcedony, and Blue Calcite

Blue Chalcedony: a soothing, calming balm to find clarity and communication

Blue Chalcedony: a soothing, calming balm to find clarity and communication




Tohoku Earthquake 8 years later

A few of you (online) may know that I lived in Japan!

A few of you may also know that I was in Japan during the historic 2011 Tohoku earthquake, March 11th -- 8 years ago.

When the earthquake struck, my friend and I were in a different town than where I lived. It was still one of the strongest earthquakes I have felt, despite it being hours away from the epicenter.

Having lived in the NW, earthquakes and drills are commonplace. The types of earthquakes I had been in prior were NOTHING like the sensation of the Tohoku quake. It felt like being on the sea during bad swells, like my legs couldn't balance or trust the earth we were standing on.

Just a few hours before the earthquake in Kamakura, Japan

Just a few hours before the earthquake in Kamakura, Japan

In moments of disaster, I go into to troubleshoot, and resolve mode. "Do as the Japanese!" We were in a tourist town, but still there wasn't a lot of English spoken, so we followed suit, exited the store we were in (scouring for Japanese Kit Kats), and stood in the promenade in the center of the street. We watched light posts sway, and the architecture thrash.

We returned to the train station afterwards only to find out all transportation is halted, as well as cell phone service. The few English phrases I heard was "bad accident", "National Emergency", and overheard "Tokyo Disney is underwater!"

She and I wandered and found a fellow stranded passenger from the Naval Base. I asked this woman if she'd like to join us since we were all in limbo. A small restaurant, not normally one to welcome Western faces, took us in for a couple hours while we tried to wait for more information. So many aftershocks that felt like sea sickness. To this day, if the building I am in, rattles, I immediately sense whether or not I need to duck and cover.

Once we realized there was no transportation at all for the night, we strategized how we were going to make it back to where I lived.

There was a huge line at the taxi stand. The Japanese, so respectful to social courtesy, patiently waited as the next taxi would come back for the next person in line. Orderly.

Well that wasn't going to work because we were all without a clue wtf was going on. I finally got a hold of my bf on a payphone, at the time, and he explained that it was really bad and that the Naval station was making big plans to move. We knew we had to get back.

We walked a mile or so outside the town center. When we finally flagged a taxi driver willing to stop for us, my Brooklynite friend immediately climbed in the back of the cab and refused to budge until he agreed to drive us. We pooled $100 cash, and he very, very reluctantly agreed. Our driver had a mini-cry of consciousness on whether picking us up was "right" because there were people waiting in line.

I'm very grateful for his decision to drive us back, and acknowledge my responsibility in talking him into it.

When we returned to Yokosuka, I had so many messages from friends and family. Worried. Uncertain.

When I finally saw the damage from the tsunamis I understood the severity. Where we were the earthquake was still around a 7 on the richter scale. Aftershocks happened multiple times a day, and even one struck as my plane was taking off about a week later.

8 years later we know just how bad the damage is. Fukushima, the nuclear power plant, had irreversible damage and poisoned our ocean. I learned how differently the US processes disaster on a Federal level because of how kind the Japanese were to their people. Simply, honorable.

Older employees at the power plant, literally risked their lives to fix the reactor and address the radioactive water. They volunteered first.

One of the largest vending machine companies, on national television, told people how to override the machines and manually open them, should people need food and drink. Other parts of the country respected this information and didn't use it as an opportunity to loot. This is still something I can't see any US brands offering up, and our culture respecting.

My friend was able to get on a flight within a day or so, and I had to move my return date up a month and start packing up my apartment. While Japanese media still wasn't revealing *just* how bad the radiation leak was, the US naval equipment was already reading it. That return week was a blur, I contracted the flu, and the next month was exhausting for me to return to the states. I wasn't sleeping well, still felt the immediacy of perceived aftershocks, and my bf wouldn't return until nearly May.

I wanted to share this today as an opportunity to encourage you to check your own emergency preparedness kit. This is a non-negotiable in my home, and helped Karl and I prepare early for another historical disaster, Hurricane Harvey.

Regardless if you are in a earthquake zone, you may be in a tornado alley, severe wildfire risk, hurricanes -- different elements, similar effect.

Here are some of my musts:
Know your emergency plan: who is your area and out of area contact?

Where will you and your loved ones meet if your home is compromised?

Escape plan for safety.

The minimums: food, water, radio (hand cranked or plenty of batteries), flashlights, back up phone chargers charged...

Access to important documents: insurance info.

Check out RedCross.org for disaster-specific guides.

What I've learned is that this is NOT a morbid process, this is survival, and therefore literally all of us can be prepared. Everything can be replaced except life, so it's worth the "off season" day or couple hours to check in with your own reserves and review with your family an emergency drill: do the climbing out of the window and pop quiz who are you going to call.

Preparedness saves.

Finally, the most important lesson I learned from the Japanese during this earthquake:

The power of kindness and community.

Extend additional compassion and service as fully as you are capable when a disaster strikes. Love kindles people's reserves and fortifies their "can make it" attitude.

Kindness makes us feel more human, more welcomed, and capable.




Cry of Anger: What's Anger Telling You?

Pissed off. Frustrated. Hurt. Venting. Resentful. Indignant.

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"How dare (s)he?"



Frigidity. Apathy. Impatient.



"GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY!!!"

::honks car horn for a good 5 seconds longer than necessary::



Antagonized. Mad. Offended.



"Well, they started it."



Violent. Furious. Hostile.



"Fuck off."

"Fuck you."

"Go fuck yourself."



Punctuated by the long period of deafening silence. That'll show 'em.



So much of what I am witnessing in my coaching practice and in the collective consciousness is the CRY OF ANGER.



Anger is a channeled emotion. Often externally obvious, or internally self-punnishing. It's often painful, if not violent emotionally when unchecked.



When you experience anger, how does it show up for you?

What action do you reach for first? Out of instinct or lack of present mindfulness...



For those who are VERY familiar with anger, it can be a sign of depression. If nearly everything is setting off your anger alarm: impatience, crankiness, overuse of sarcasm, annoyance, to the point where that is your "norm" for days, weeks, on end, than it's time to AT LEAST check in with yourself, and even a doctor or therapist.



Anger kills, slowly and quickly. Without an actual resolution and peace.



This is why it's so necessary to explore your language of emotions.



For me, anger presents as slammed doors/drawers, self-punishment, restriction, hateful/venomous language directed mostly to myself and sometimes to others (directly or indirectly).



What I have learned through watching my own behavior, and coaching others through their emotions, is that anger really is a catalyst for action.



Often, it's the masculine balance of correction because it brings so much energy that can be used as fuel.



What must be protected?



What must be restored?



What can I do in service of my anger, not in reaction to?



What I offer today is an invitation to ask yourself:

Who am I with and without my anger?

How often does anger take up my energy?



Instead of reacting, respond personally. Get to know what your anger is telling you. Through acknowledgment you bring awareness to your emotions and that immediately tempers the flare up.



Seriously, just two seconds to stop and listen.



Then, you reclaim your autonomy to make a choice. To resolve the situation and not create a wake of damage. You can channel your energy into HELPFUL action.

The Great Depression: breaking up with melancholy

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TIL: President Lincoln had depression and wouldn't carry a knife because he was afraid he would self harm.

For myself in the peak of my depression in high school, I wouldn't (and still don't) carry meds with me -- even OTC. There was a time in which I would take 20-30+ aspirin or ibuprofen and numb out. (This lead to major gastro-intestinal pain later...) For others, maybe they use alcohol, weed, or other prescription drugs. The outcome is the same: to numb the pain and emotional turmoil.

To escape the pain of melancholy, numbness and apathy are familiar emotions. Because rather than the sadness, despair, and hopelessness, the lack of visceral feeling can actually be higher vibe. However, learning to manage these feelings withOUT substances or harmful behaviors is life changing and depression-cycle breaking!

The key to it though is: don't spend longer than you have to in these emotions.

Extended periods of lack of feeling leads to further isolation and separation not just from others, but also from yourself. It creates a rift inside you that disconnects from authenticity, vibrancy, and ALL emotions including goodness, joy, compassion, and peace.

So how do you break up with the melancholy?

At some point it comes back to an awareness of choice. How long have you been in the blues? Numb? or hopelessly sad? What choice can you make right now to do something different?

Fake it til you make it:
Remind yourself of love by looking for it ANYWHERE. Volunteer, one time or sign up for a longer commitment. Do something nice and altruistic without expectation of return -- paying it forward is DEEP medicine for when you're feeling worthless. How can you be worthless if you just added value for someone else?

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Express yourself: 
Cry, feel the breadth of your emotion or get angry. Don't bottle it up to sneak up on you later in an out-of-control, or possibly unrelated manner where you take someone out with you. Scream. Rage dance to music. Get to a kickboxing class.

Tell someone:
If it's been lingering around for what you feel like is "too long", it's time to be brave and open up. You don't have to suffer silently with your disturbing thoughts. Allow someone you trust to listen and help come up with a plan to do something about this extended time spent in depression. A therapist or a visit to your doctor to discuss anti-depressants are all self-caring and life saving measures.

Ocean Jasper can come in a variety of colors: pink and green, blues, yellows — it’s funky and supports the root, heart, and throat chakras.

Ocean Jasper can come in a variety of colors: pink and green, blues, yellows — it’s funky and supports the root, heart, and throat chakras.

Explore what can't be seen & Get some Ocean Jasper stat:
Try mindfulness and meditation. Get a freaking crystal already--literally any crystal, but especially ocean jasper. :) If you're ready, any action is better than no action. Get curious. Explore an idea or spiritual concept you wish to know better. Astrology can teach you layers about yourself that may feel like truth. Numerology. The philosophical. The esoteric. Sometimes our human depression comes from a spiritual longing.

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Here's the wonderfully surprising side effect of depression:
It makes you feel deeply--arguably more so than most others.

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It makes you more empathetic to the human struggle and condition. I believe that maybe Lincoln's depression and how it affected his life is why we have an affinity and respect for his legacy.

Once you learn your own language of depression, you can work WITH it, instead of struggle against it. The only option you have left is to try and make different choices that support you -- even if you don't quite believe it yet. By becoming aware of HOW depression manifests for you, you can unlock your own code and drop the melancholy.

You won't know until you try.

If you're curious about Lincoln, click for the article I read.  
If you're curious about learning about how to heal depression, Kelly Curtis and I have created a self-guided study to help you through and heal holistically.