TO FACE YOUR FEARS, YOU MUST LEARN TO FORGIVE YOURSELF FIRST FOR HAVING THEM.

This means letting go of the shame, guilt, sadness, and anger.

To face your fears, you must first forgive yourself for having them..jpg

Rather than #vaguebook, I will share some of what I have been through in the last 5 years (some days it feels like 5 lifetimes of shit):

*Two toxic 9-5 jobs with one that had manipulatively untrue allegations launched against me, and an exec who's micromanagement style caused over 50% of the team to turnover in 1.5 years

*A period of spiritual growth period that left me feeling very alone, shamed and judged. I had to learn some tough lessons including causing irreparable damage to some of my longest relationships. This shift has culled some people out of my life, and it's completely transformed and DEEPLY ENHANCED the relationships in my life.

*A weight loss journey that caused a problem with binge eating and was a diagnosable eating disorder. From which, recovering from this was the greatest form of healing on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level.

*A brain injury where people questioned my chronic illness and resulting depression. It has taken all my faculties to learn kindness and love from within as a result.

After years of deep sadness, hurt, and shadow searching time, I crave light. I spent time in darkness feeling scared that my experiences, my own journey of who I am now, would disconnect me from people. When really, it's the opposite. The heavy emotions you are feeling are normal. And, they're revealing something to you.

You may feel like you're the only one in the world who gets it, and while that's true sometimes, sharing what your feeling and what your needs are is the first step to coming out of the darkness and slaying the fear dragon. You must forgive yourself for feeling "broken" or "damaged". Forgive yourself for the anger, the guilt, and the shame that you are feeling because these are deeper lessons which uncover how bright your Light is and where you keep Love. 

As I have learned through my own Saturn Return and Dark Night of Soul, as well as coached many people through these periods of their life, what's best is to allow yourself to be heard. I listen. I hold space. I help translate these emotions in a language your heart, mind, and soul can understand. As we venture deeper into our conscious awareness of how we show up in the world, we can connect to more of the magic around us. We can dial into our intuition, our strength of sensibilities, and connect more authentically to those around us. 

In this period of time, I can say resolutely that we need more authenticity. More people willing to share what they've learned and what they're going through. The best part? Doing it on your own terms in a space that makes you feel safe. Yes, relationships may evolve, but as you dig deeper into what makes you work, how you feel, you will attract better aligned relationships with people who understand, empathize, and love and support you. This is when abundance happens!

It all starts with forgiveness. 

If you're ready to let go of shame and guilt, and get living life with happiness and joy, let's get on the phone and talk. I always offer complimentary intro sessions to see if how I may be of service to help unstick you in the cycle of shame.

ONE DAY YOU'RE GOING TO LOOK AT ALL THIS AND SAY "I'M GLAD I DIDN'T GIVE UP THEN."

These clouds are REAL! They're called nacreous clouds. Pic from Scotland.

These clouds are REAL! They're called nacreous clouds. Pic from Scotland.

Whoa. I remember when I felt this. I called my friend Steve that afternoon and cried. I truly believed for the first time in a long time that life is magical and good. Steve has a gift of being able to reveal clarity and connect you to big picture. We went to Seward Park and worked out at sunset.

At that park, with the pastel winter colors painting the sky, that moment felt more real and authentic than any time in my adult life. It was a true moment of Awakening. It was the first time I had a big smile on my face, laced with pure gratitude for this life I am living. It had been since I was a child that I remembered that authenticity. It was a profound sense of connection with life, and with everyone around. My "cold, black heart" joke was dead.

What I have learned is that this world has many cycles of regeneration and of new chapters. It's easy to disconnect from the greater purpose these life lessons share, being swept up into the trauma of transformation, and it's even more alluring to numb the pain of these cycles with your chosen distraction.

I KNOW it's possible to get through the darkness. I feel it every day with my clients. There's meaning to what you experience, the highs with the lows, the darkness with the light. You are wakening up and building your conscious awareness, and you're not alone. The world needs your Light, and your authentic heart.

Welcome to the next chapter.