My story, and influences
Welcome to the first New Moon of 2018
This New Moon is packed with energy as there are other planets lending their own energies to the darkness of this moon cycle. I am feeling drawn to earthly energies and the root chakra. It makes sense since Capricorn is a cardinal earth sign. With the start of Capricorn so close to the Winter Solstice, this sign actually signals a return to light as days expand and get longer. What this represents is the effort of our own work in transformation revealed more easily as light returns to illuminate our shadows.
The other planets along for the Capricorn journey right now are Pluto, Saturn, and Venus. What a trio! Saturn, while in other signs, can feel disruptive as it likes to test our patience and the foundations we lay for ourselves. This planet just made its move into this sign and is parked here until 2020. It's a natural fit for Capricorn as its natural ruler. The energies Saturn brings to this new moon and what it encourages the embrace of is our own hard work, acknowledgement for the growth we created and the routines which sustain us. Capricorn and Virgo are arguably the most hard working of the zodiac, but with Capricorn there is a learned discipline. While Virgo strives for perfection and reaping the rewards of their labor, Caps take this a step further, daring to traverse more difficult landscapes in search of stronger stability. There's a reason why Capricorn is associated with the mountain goat, who's steady feet carry them higher up nearly impossible conditions--it's because they trust their own efforts and know the destination is worth the journey. Which brings us to the possibility Pluto invokes in this sign.
Pluto in Capricorn isn't uncomfortable as there is a duality of light and darkness. Pluto, the god of the Underworld, is comfortable in the discomfort and darkness. What Pluto teaches us here is that we can ascend after descent. In the myth of Persephone, Hades (Pluto), the God of the Underworld, fell in love with Persephone, the Goddess of Nature. One of the few times he ascended from the Underworld was to pursue her. Zeus made an agreement to promise his brother Persephone. Unbeknownst to Demeter, her mother, Zeus made a spell to enchant a Narcissus flower, knowing that Persephone would collect the flowers. When Persephone picked the flower she fell into the Underworld to the awaiting arms of her betrothed. Demeter scoured the Earth looking for her daughter. She confronted her brother, Zeus, and finally he admitted Persephone's whereabouts. Distraught, she begged Hades to allow Persephone to return to the Earth, and he eventually agreed, but on the condition that Persephone eat the seeds of the pomegranate, forever binding Persephone to her captor. The agreement was that for four months out of the year, Persephone could return to the Earth to be with her mother. On her ascension, the Goddess of Nature and Fertility returns through Earth's layers with fertility, a return of feminine, and thus the beginning of Spring and Light and Warmth. There's a reason why the Underworld is both described as a cold and miserable place as well as a hot and miserable place throughout various belief systems. They're extremes and an imbalance for the Earth which makes our perception unpleasant of that place (to say the least). What's brilliant about this new moon is its similar return to light, earth, and ascension, and is marked by a Total Lunar Eclipse at the full moon in Leo on 1/31 and the pagan holiday, Imbolc Feb. 1-2, which marks the midpoint of winter and return of nurtured life.
I should mention Persephone fell in love with Hades. She is comfortable being in his underworld. This duality is between death and growth is clear as she ascends and descends, marking the end of the year (cycle) and the beginning of the new one. Isn't this the reconciliation we face for this time of year? The unification and acceptance as darkness as valuable rather than simply glossing over it for light. I am sure this theme between unification of dark and light, Divine Masculine and Feminine will persist throughout this year. I feel that with a fire based moon in Leo, we are determining who we wish to emerge as, who am I within that deserves to be acknowledge in the world?
This dark to light renewal energy reminds me of what a labyrinth is about, a symbolic journey to the heart and connection, to exit with a renewed understanding and objective understanding. That's why we these features in churches and spiritual places. A labyrinth is different than a maze because it doesn't intend to trick you or get you stuck. Rather, they are a meditative tool that through walking while ruminating a problem or experience you are having, your journey through the labyrinth is to go inward, understand its value and the many facets of what you are experiencing, from the center, your rebirth is guide through a single path to clarity. Capricorn new moon with its planetary neighbors invite you to walk into understanding and to emerge in spring. Take action and compassion to your emotional hang ups. Now is the time to get clear on what you want for this year.
Crystals to Rock:
Red Coral: created from the shells of sea dwellers, red coral is feminine and represents fertility, life, and groundedness. It aids depression and allows an understanding to our emotions. Perfect for this time of year as we ease out of darkness.
Gold: a masculine metal, gold signifies the riches of our work, the symbol of our actions. It's brilliant color stimulates our energy and to take action--like springing forward.
Petrified Wood: So, this is a funny one to me to include because it's so earthly. Again, I am craving such earth based wisdom and connection to this moon.
We are here in the belly of the snake, and we are schluffing off our skin as we enter a new paradigm of embodied femininity and guess what? We will use the untraditional, powerful tools of witchcraft and sorcery. We are changing, and what was, can no longer persist.
The emotions of scorpio are astute, keen, observing. The sign is water so this new moon is inviting us to gaze into the dark ocean water, the bottomless vast receptive bowl of earth. While the energy can feel daunting, there's a provocation of empowerment. Because there is a palpability of luminosity with water, the sky is blue because the light waves reflect off the ocean's surface. When we look into our watery emotions, we can see the capacity for our brightness. The light refracts off the depths, what we don't need anymore is absorbed into the depths and what is equitable is the light that is created from our strength and effort to try.
The crystals present in the image:
Azurite: open your third eye and allow your intuition to guide you. Don't allow your brain to rationally try and dismiss what you are sensing.
Labradorite: allow magic to happen, notice the illuminated cracks puncture "normalcy" and remind you that there's playfulness and joy in transformation.
Blue Tiger Eye: you have the stamina and courage to stand up for your convictions and beliefs. You are protected by soul and spirit, and you can traverse everything in your path. Like water, you're cool and calm, unrattled.
For more information on the New Moon join me in Rock On with Tiffany on Facebook as I give my tips and more in-depth insight about the moon this evening.
"One of the best gifts I recently received is the gift of an open heart. I've yearned for another to look back at me and as I them. Gratitude doesn't even begin to describe it Reflecting on my past year almost one year since I met him, I've experienced so many dark emotions we try and shelter ourselves from. Grief. Betrayal. Hurt. Sorrow. Mourning. Really this past year took me into starying down the darkest parts of my soul and shining a bright light right into the face of all those dark secrets. In doing so, I don't think I've ever been brighter or more sparkly. Website check. Facebook promotion check. Now to pour my love and assured positive energy into making me better. I have no doubt in my future. I have love and laughter and wonderful people around me who support me and their confidence is shedding the past. Despite the at times real, honest loneliness that comes with it. Growing, evolving, is real hard work. And not for the ego seekers. It takes vulnerability and honesty to embark on this path of Soul. I maintain my faith that
"Begin to weave and God will give me his thread."
Everyday I embark to self-discovery, to seek centeredness, grounded in the present. Not ruled by my emotions any more. One of the lessons is when carrying other people's baggage, you arms are full--your emotional luggage relegated and waiting. If left unattended for too long, someone is bound to pick through it, taking all the worthwhile stuff, leaving the unglamorous parts strewn about the side walk.
You're called here to find love for yourself. To care for yourself. You're called here to make a positive impact. You will embrace your light. It's already happening. When you listen to the language of your emotions, you are able to love. Going through the dark parts of life is natural, it makes you more brilliant. We are here to shine so others can see."
I shared this in my Facebook group in February, and since then, I have had the privilege of working with more individuals who are consciously creating their new identity on how they want to show up in the world. If, after you read this, you want to talk, let's do so.
Much Love, T
I am feeling called to share a deeply personal story today. A story that is rooted in a lot of uncertainty and shame for a long time. My intention is to share why healing shame is such a profound gift for finding out who you are and what you are made of.
Ok deep breath, T.
In second grade, I remember distinctly reading a Time Magazine for kids article about twins, who were separated after birth, had a longing throughout their life for their counterpart. Knowing, that out in the big world, there was someone just like them.
My heart ached because I knew what they were feeling. I, too as a little girl, knew what it meant to miss part of you you've never met.
You see, from as far back as I can remember, I have always had this sense that there was another "me" out there. Exactly like me. My counterpart in every way.
Except, he was a boy.
For years, I would look at myself in the mirror, staring myself in the eyes, asking aloud: where are you? Honestly I can consciously remember doing this in 2nd grade (6 years old!) and through 8th grade. I never told anyone. I was so afraid of being weird. Or how could I explain that there was a part of myself that felt like he was out there waiting for me?
I knew I could never tell anyone because I would be labeled a freak, or worse, be denied that this wasn't "real."
This balance between masculine and feminine played out in many iterations.
I was chastised and told to "cover up" my boobs consistently as a teen and even a year ago. I was not entitled for my body to just be because boys were distracted and teasing. I wore the ugliest, unlined bras until into college because there was no way I was going to even add a .25" or less of padding to my already inappropriate, and unwelcomed body.
I didn't wear t-shirts until my mid-20s because I thought t-shirts were too masculine.
My junior year of college, I vowed to stop buying chick flicks and instead started to seek out more "guy friendly" movies.
There were very few people who I told I was bi because I didn't want to be labeled "just doing it for attention." Honestly, I knew I liked women before I knew I liked men.
All of these experiences caused shame to root deeper. My whole existence felt polarized, and that I was too much female while my Soul felt aligned with a more masculine identity. I never, ever talked about my shameful secret.
Fast forward to a Fate Date where everything started shifting. I met a psychic who, NO JOKE, point blank asked me: "did you ever feel like you were supposed to be a boy?"
She knew within the first five minutes of being in her room. I was caught! and Shocked.
It feels silly to me now to think that questioning my gender identity is some dark shameful secret. But it was for a long time.
That session with the psychic was radical and life changing. Spending an hour with her once changed my life for the better. I dove into crystals and meditation at that time. My life journey forever altered for the better. What I learned from her, I seek in my service to provide: soul connections.
What I have come to learn in my years of studying spirituality is how much the balance of the masculine and feminine is rooted in almost every creation story or belief system, with some Native American tribes believing there are 7 genders.
I have learned we are all somewhere between the two polarities at any given moment in our life. These nuances express our dynamic Soul self. We are all a combination of masculine and feminine, divine and wounded. With toxic it corrupts our expression of either.
We can utilize masculine and feminine energy, and there is nothing weak or shameful about it. So for the years that I put down myself for my sensitivity for thinking it was weak, I have forgiven myself. In fact, I now own my feminine as as sacred. As the sacred, receptive energy it is. My masculine side has been my wounded self, and I have allowed Him to be present safely. Masculine energy is assertive and linear, but it's not the only way to exist.
Masculine energy says: either or, a or b, white or black? Never gray. Always a right answer. Must dominate. Conquer.
In life, there's complexity, beauty in the layers. Flexibility, waiting, responsiveness. That's the feminine. Yin to her yang.
Cutting my hair short felt like an embrace of my non binary identity. I felt confident in laying across genders, embracing their complexity and learning what that identity means to me each and every day. Looking at each part of myself from an understanding and embrace of masculine and feminine taught me how to heal wounded versions. The me that was a sad little girl, missing her male counterpart, welcomed that boy with love and a hug.
On Monday, I spent time with a client and friend who has recently embraced they/them as their pronouns, and I felt truly seen. They saw me at my soul level, an amalgamation of all and both. I saw them for who they are, a Divine Soul who understands people with more sincerity and genuineness because they are showing up authentically as their self.
For the first time in my life, I feel whole. We are all made up of cosmic layers of energetic stardust both ethereal and physical. Those atoms all vibrate at frequencies that align specifically for you.
That's the gift of being here: to show up as you are.
You are seen, and you are loved regardless.
I see you, and I love you for who you are.
Since earlier this year I have worked with over a half dozen people about owning their identity and navigating the depression and anxiety that can come with figuring it out. There's so much guilt and shame which we hold onto to conform ourselves to others' standards. Right now, we need as many people being their true self, to shine their authentic light.
If you're tired of feeling less and living inauthentically, let's work together. I always offer a complimentary chat so we can see if coaching is a fit for you. With coaching, we move you forward. What would healing these wounds and self acceptance bring you?