How do you want to feel in 2016?
I am so eager and excited about the unknown and manifestation of what 2016 has to offer. For me, 2015 was a massive year of transition. I have talked about that a lot so it doesn't surprise me that this theme played out in the number of ways it has. The transitions have seem to culminate a long winded, years-long, former chapter of Tiffany, and while difficult at times, 2015 has been a gift.
I am moved to share my message of my lessons learned in this finale.
Our feelings easily reveal what we want and how we receive it.
I started this year out with transitional housing, living with the most generous people I know without judgment of how I ended up there. I ended up in that precarious position because I ignored my feelings of what I really wanted in my previous relationship for a good year and a half, and especially in the last 6 months. Why? Because I listened to everyone else saying to try harder and that I shouldn't feel that way. I beat myself up, was terrified, and chose to listen to the voice that said I should be happy with the situation I was in. And, when I didn't listen, I beat myself up with a barrage of unhealthy behaviors (including going out and "socially" drinking way too frequently) and a damning internal monologue. Underneath all the excess noise, I knew what I wanted: OUT. It took a series of difficult choices, but 2015 started with a trust to listen to my core feelings, a new awareness.
This year, I have made a point to pay attention when the butterflies start swarming in my gut, or a pang of sadness envelopes my entire body. This barometer revealed some hard truths, and it led me to wonderful opportunities that have connected me to my better self. I also realized how valuable these core feelings are in recognizing how I make room for these opportunities and when I stand in my own way.
2015 brought me another toxic job and a crash-and-burn ending. My gut had been telling me for months: "No matter what you do, you will never please these people." What I tried to reconcile was the eating disorder and mental health field I worked in was so fulfilling on a day-to-day basis. I got to meet people and talk to them about something I am passionate about: eating disorder awareness. Using my empathic nature and intimate knowledge of the topic, I was able to connect with people as a marketer. However, in the environment I was in, it was not enough, and ultimately they decided "I" wasn't enough. Thankfully about a month before the final song-and-dance, and sacrifices, I listened to my gut and enrolled in Seattle Life Coach Training. I also decided to say: "OK, Universe, I am listening to you now. I will start my own interior design business." Between these two decisions, I have never been more authentic with myself.
My feelings wanted me to feel fulfilled in all aspects of my professional sector--they had been telling me this for years!--and I will tell you what I learned:
There's never a good enough reason to be unhappy.
Think about how unhappiness shows up in your life. Is it when you are too busy? Is it when are berating yourself for being fat? Is it when you are apathetic to a lackluster job? Or when you are stressing about all the possibilities in which something could go wrong? Let that soak in for a minute. For me, it's all of the above. None of those situations make me happy. How could they? There's no room for happiness to exist when these thoughts are dominating your present moment. If I focus on the all the things that aren't right or perfect, guess what I see? Only the parts that validate what I am focused on: the unhappy. Sure it validates my original belief, but is that a good thing? HELL NO. There's never a good enough reason to STAY unhappy.
Sometimes it takes good ol' fashioned honesty, and invariably the choices you make to feel happiness will lead you to authenticity.
How did I learn to do make this shift in my own self awareness and consciousness? I built on my foundation and understanding of the language of emotions and empathy by reading The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte. This book is a game changer! Seriously go pick it up! Beautiful design and layout, easy to digest, and inspiring to tap into exactly how you want to feel. This book, and reading Playing Big by Tara Mohr were my mega inspirations for 2015. I also used coaching. Coaching is a beautiful way to get an "a-ha! That's what that is" revelation.
By paying attention to when unhappiness presented itself this year, I was motivated. I felt motivated to make an effort because I was so tired of feeling not good enough or unfulfilled. Yes, it's been a recurring theme for me in this chapter, and this chapter is closing because of this listening, this Clarity is now integrated in all areas of my life: Self, Relationships, Spiritual, and Professional.
Professionally, by listening to my feelings, it has revealed my purpose: Coaching, Crystals, and Design. Once I realized that I am motivated to create and it has paid off! I have never felt more fulfilled doing what I love, and it's paying off. My business partnership with Kate & Design has elevated my confidence and brought such a wonderful source of positive encouragement to get me out there, to serve others and share myself and my stories. Seriously, she's the best! I can't wait to share what she creates this year. Through acknowledging and listening to my feelings, I can receive my Guides' guidance and see the right opportunities ahead. It's been immensely rewarding. It's brought in Light where there was once discouraging dark. All that changed was the courage to listen and to take action towards resolving the unhappy feelings.
This year brought me changes in my relationships. It taught me surrender and trust, authenticity and honesty. A loving and vulnerable conversation with Karl about our future brought us closer together and a true excitement for how our roads are diverging. By listening and honoring both of our feelings, we are both in alignment with our BIG GOALS for 2016. It feels like a light, airy gift of possibility--a wonderful sensation to start a new year.
In this life, on this Earth, we have an unparalleled ability to create. In creation, we manifest what we really want. It's no coincidence that creativity lives in our Solar Plexus where our feelings live as well. Our feelings and creativity go hand in hand. When we are listening to our feelings we are creating, and if you're like me, when you're not listening to your feelings, you're sluggish and unmotivated to leave the house. So there are two options to responding to our feelings:
Focus on the lack of options to change the situation, or acknowledge and start looking at how you would rather feel.
There's one range of feelings on that barometer and it is from joy to disempowerment.
All that needs to be done is reflecting on: What are my feelings telling me? Take the moments where you are frustrated, disappointed and unhappy, and ask yourself: what needs to change? Give yourself a couple minutes of quiet to see what comes up. It might not be a marching band of an answer, it might be a dream, a symbol, or a memory. Pay attention to it. Repeat this each time you are sliding into the disempowering side of the spectrum. Then, take little actions. I call these small milestones. Which could literally be, small milestone: I didn't leave that meeting wanting to rip that person's head off. Or I let someone in on my commute.
Relish in the small milestones because they are aligning your feelings towards clarity.
This is my wish for 2016 to listen and take meaningful action. I have big wishes for this year and I know I am going to accomplish them. I am ready for all the possibilities of good, to pay attention to how I got here, and to dream and create.
How do you want to feel in 2016?
I know you're worth your wishes and more!
Want to practice getting that clarity and getting in tune with your feelings? Take advantage of my complimentary gift of my Sanctuary Meditation--it's 20 minutes of your own personal respite.