This Thanksgiving weekend I spent a lot of time in reflection and warm company. If it weren't for my moldavite crystals, I would be shocked about how much change and transformation has occurred in this past year. New beginnings, said goodbye to another toxic work environment, said hello to being my own bosslady, and been welcomed into a beyond amazing, talented, sparkly Tribe.
With all of these new beginnings, I feel like sharing something important and personal--my poetry. When I was in junior high and high school, I journaled nearly every day. Most of them details of hang outs and crushes, teenage angst, and even raw emotions--some I may even post and reflect on here. One outlet for me to express myself was through poetry. College happened, and honestly until last Summer--11 years later!--I wasn't in touch emotionally with that part of me. I met someone special, and hello! I found inspiration to write again. I love how those chapters in our lives come full circle. Once an important part of me for so many years, laid dormant, waiting to be reawakened.
In my own sparkly way of putting myself out there and stepping into alignment, I wanted to share this specific poem I wrote on September 29th. It was a beginning of a new chapter for me, a year that taught me more about my shadows and lightness. This past year has been one of me fearlessly exploring my darkness, and illuminating the corners to become the warrior spirit I am meant to be.
Thank you for honoring my vulnerability, and please let me know what you think in the comments!
She always chased rainbows
Her shimmer reflected her open hearted optimism
Extinguished, she became dark and retreated.
Her eyes burned bright and her prismatic sadness glistened her cheeks.
Her pain felt only through screaming torn tissue,
Every fiber became confetti of relegated happiness.
Years of a moon cycle, wax, wane, full and new,
Ushered revolving cycles, and still her sorrow persisted,
At her best new moon, she carried herself with a shiny silver cover,
The emergency blanket enveloped the instability of her pleasance.
Others only saw her reflective surface unaware or deceived, she didn't mind.
She wanted to reveal, despite her shattered mirrors.
Crippled by broken realities
She waxed in girth, concealing her pain through consumption of color.
If she couldn't find it, she devoured artificialness.
Becoming too full
Her intensity struck blinding lightening, a sign of her repressed peace.
Anger and crippled emotions, boiled over.
Still electrified, she waned.
Colorful composition and disposition, she wore what she couldn't find within.
Polarizing, she remained apathetic to her aged bruises.
Where was the girl who chased rainbows,
Who wore dew drops and the earth as her skin?
Sun beams of transformation, revealed the rainbow inclusions of her journey,
Fragmented, unified, radiating brightly into light.
No need to chase external rainbows, she learned,
They reflect from within.
Unstoppable and irrepressible, she became a beacon
To illuminate and inspire others to find their rainbows.
Tiffany C. Hammer